Few would ever call the usual suspects the ‘dream team’, but if you travel long enough with the same people, eventually everyone becomes useful at some point. We were setting off for the first adventure of the season, keen, eager, hopeful and perhaps realistic, 186 miles southwest, with a very early stop planned…
The Greetland Shayman is perhaps the most dedicated vegan anyone could ever meet. He rescues battery hens at the end of their productive life, giving them a worry-free retirement with food far more nutritious than any of us could ever aspire to. Pete is perhaps the greatest aficionado of match-day refreshments; he’s undoubtedly tried a burger, chips and, where possible, an ice cream at every ground he’s ever visited. What he doesn’t know about football cuisine isn’t worth knowing. The question is, why are these two characters suddenly useful?
With thanks to the Supporters Club, I got a tip-off that BBC Radio 5 were looking for a travelling Shayman to take on vegan-friendly Forest Green in a football food-related competition. A cross between University Challenge and Bruce Forsyth’s Play Your Cards Right. The prize being an item on Forest Green’s luxury food menu. Who else would you possibly choose for backup other than Pete and the Greetland Shayman?
To cut a long story short, as soon as we parked up at the service station ready to take the call from the BBC, instead of helping with my challenge, the usual suspects abandoned me, heading inside for a takeaway breakfast. The Forest Green questions were all about the price of their exotic vegan menu: a baked spud, then some sort of pasty, and finally some kind of tortilla wrap. All cost more than six quid a shout, and you didn’t even get any meat for your money. Anyway, the Greetland Shayman was delighted, I won a pasty, and he took the taste challenge later in the day. He said it tasted great.
After arriving in Nailsworth to find the town’s only chippy being renovated into some trendy wine bar, we ended up driving to the next village to find our usual bucket of chips. The picturesque detour took us up some steep, winding moorland roads with multiple cows resident on the road. They weren’t bothered about the cars, even when Pete wound down the window to give them a piece of his mind.
We managed to dodge the £15 parking fee by locating a spot on a nearby estate, then had seats in the elevated stand inside the away end. It was a much better view of the game and came with the bonus of shade from the intense sun. The stewards kindly allowed our drum into the away end on the strict condition that we didn’t make too much noise with it. Obviously, they’re not used to an atmosphere at the New Lawn and don’t wish to offend the affluent locals.
Town took the lead early in the game, then almost scored a second soon after. A shot was smartly saved with the keeper’s legs. Rovers, for their part, hit the post and had multiple corners. It was a first half where the Shaymen played well and deserved their lead at the break. The impressive 127 travelling Shaymen must have tested the stewards’ patience with the drum at times.
After an unexpected stadium announcement of Pete’s 40th birthday – thank you to whoever arranged that; he now unfairly blames me! the home side came alive in the second half. They scored two decent goals early on, followed by a third that looked like it may have taken a deflection before rolling into the bottom corner. Their 3-1 lead was a fair reflection of the game. Town scored a late consolation with a long-range free kick into the top corner with the last attempt of the game.
Overall, we weren’t too disappointed at the end. We don’t often get anything from a visit to Gloucestershire, and today was no different. The team looked good at times, scored two goals away from home, and the players deserved their applause at the end.
Next up, it’s a Friday night visit to our local neighbours, Altrincham. Now there’s a place we usually do well at.
C’mon Shaymen
Miles on the road: 372 Goals on the road: 2 Points on our travels: 0
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